smoother than that first margarita
Below you’ll find 24 Signs that you are a cruise addict. We’ve seen addicts across the spectrum. From those that lose some sleep without a cruise booked, to Katie Holmes. Did you know that she married Tom because of his last name alone?
Forget the “12 steps,” though. We want you to embrace your self-diagnosed “cruise addict” status. To test just how far out to sea you are, look at the signs below. These are the tell-tale symptoms determined from years of field studies.
Feel free to keep score as you scroll through the list. If so, please let us know how many boxes you check.
There’s limited space after your cash, cards, and Chick Fil A coupons. What fills that void is very telling. We proudly display a photo of our youngest cruise ship. She was launched in 2008 and we visit her as often as we can.
You are truly a cruise addict if you keep in touch with staff members from past sailings. We love hearing from our favorite crew members and stamp-budget increases with each cruise. Bonus points if you know their kids’ names.
When you open your FB feed, is it filled with the latest cruise ship news or excursion recommendations? That’s a good sign that you’re a cruise addict. Our day doesn’t really get started until we check our favorite FB cruise page. [LINK]
During your next muster drill, look around… 95% of cruise passengers will be looking at their key cards, then at the walls, then at their key cards, then towards the closest cruise ship employee. The cruise addicts, however, need no assistance. They’ve been port-side (with a full drink) for the past 10 minutes.
“All I want for Christmas is my travel tote, my cruise lanyards, and my packing cubes.” Make a list and check it twice. If it looks like this Cruise Essentials guide, then you may have a problem.
There are multiple levels to your cruise craziness when it comes to mobile apps. The relatively sane have a couple cruise apps like their favorite cruise line or Cruise Deals App. The cruise addicts, however, have pushed Uber, Postmates and Candy Cruise to screen 2 to avoid distraction from their main screen cruise apps.
The normal human has no idea which Caribbean islands fall within the “Eastern” or “Western” portion. There are more than 7,000 islands in that beautiful, cruise-soup. One of the biggest signs you are a cruise addict… you can tell me which of those 7,000 islands I can port in the Western Caribbean.
Another sign that you’ve been corrupted is as follows. You walk by a towel crumpled on the floor and think, “what a shame.” You might even tear up a bit. That poor, pile of linen could have been something much greater in life. Like a hanging monkey.
Do one or more of your shirts have to do with cruising? Do you shop exclusively from this year’s collection of Best Cruise Shirts. You may refer to it as “cruise chic” while your wife is plotting to bury them in the back yard.
If you’re like us, you might not be the most organized person when it comes to birthdays, anniversaries, or bill payments. While this could be resolved with calendar alerts, you’ve already expended your scheduling efforts setting cruise price alerts. Rather than getting a push notification for “mortgage overdue,” you’d prefer “Your cruise price dropped to $649!”
One of the ultimate signs that you’re a cruise addict is that you order from the restaurant menu without considering price. Cruises will train you to order with your stomach rather than your wallet. Price be damned. Actually, price be absent. This is a dangerous habit when returning to the real world.
Once cruise ships start invading your dreams, you might be an addict. When the lights go out and you go to your happy place, this is a tell tale sign. Welcome to the club.
If you have a specialized collection of cruising gear, you might be a cruise addict. When we get home from our sailing, that bag of lanyards, cruise cabin night lights, luggage tags, etc has a specific corner of our garage where it lives to see another day. Hopefully soon.
When not on a cruise, the only solace is knowing you have a future sailing booked. As a reminder, cruise addicts will place boarding passes in the bathroom, on the refrigerator, in their office, and bed-side table. That’s why services like this exist to buy and print cruise boarding passes.
No offense to Walter Matthew, but “Out to Sea” ain’t winning an Oscar soon. The only thing it’s winning is a spot on our “recently viewed” list in Netflix. And the only reason it pops up there more often than we’re proud of, is because it takes place on a cruise ship. Addicted? Check.
Oh, and your home just happens to be within 10 miles of one of the countries major Cruise Departure Ports.
“I think that’s a Royal Caribbean ship out there, honey. It looks like it might be the Allure!?” To which she responds, “umm… I’m pretty sure that’s a shrimp boat.”
Having booked over 10,000 excursions with our partners and without a single passenger missing his/her ship, we at Gangwaze know cruise line threats are a crock of ship. True cruise addicts don’t fall for these bullying tactics.
Do you want to be the first on the ship? Probably because, like us, you’re a cruise addict. Hey, we paid the same amount whether boarding at 9AM or 3PM. I’ma enjoy those extra six hours.
Cruise Geek Level 8 – getting excited when hearing that daily planner slide under your door. Bump that up to a 10 if you have a dedicated highlighter set aside for just this purpose. That first slide across “7am Zumba – Aft Lounge” feels so right.
You’ve committed those PDF’s to memory. You move around the ship like Julianne Hough on stage (and in our dreams). If the cruise line somehow lost every deck map they’ve ever owned, you could commission a sketch artist to re-create them from scratch.
Every dollar spent on non-cruise-related items causes a grimace. Do you really need two ply? Maybe your barista skips the whip cream today. What does IRA even stand for? If you’ve had these thoughts, you might be a cruise addict.
We have a room of the house we call “Envision of the Seas.” A sound machine mimics the crashing waves and we don’t step foot in there without a Pina Colada. These porthole stickers line the walls. Could this be a sign of a cruise addict? We’ll let you decide.
Have you lost sleep in a facebook flame-war regarding chair hogs? If so, you might be a cruise addict. If you’ve spent time digitally defending your cruise line’s honor against the evil cruise critic trolls out there, you know what we’re talking about. Your cruise line is proud and the Internet thanks you.
If you found this post entertaining, funny, or even helpful, please use the share buttons below to help your fellow cruise addicts assess their level of addiction. It takes a village, people.