Are you a Cruise Addict? Here are 24 Signs to Test Your Level of Addiction

Are you a Cruise Addict? Here are 24 Signs to Test Your Level of Addiction

  • GW Staff
  • Jun 16th 2019
  • Travel

Below you’ll find 24 Signs that you are a cruise addict. We’ve seen addicts across the spectrum. From those that lose some sleep without a cruise booked, to Katie Holmes. Did you know that she married Tom because of his last name alone?

Forget the “12 steps,” though. We want you to embrace your self-diagnosed “cruise addict” status. To test just how far out to sea you are, look at the signs below. These are the tell-tale symptoms determined from years of field studies.

Cruise Addict Signs of Addiction

Use the pinterest button above to save this to post to your cruise preparation board. Check back frequently as symptoms progress.

Feel free to keep score as you scroll through the list. If so, please let us know how many boxes you check.

23 Signs that you are a Cruise Addict

Cruise Addicts - Test 1

Your wallet has a photo of your favorite cruise ship but not your grandchild

There’s limited space after your cash, cards, and Chick Fil A coupons. What fills that void is very telling. We proudly display a photo of our youngest cruise ship. She was launched in 2008 and we visit her as often as we can.

Cruise Addicts - Test 2

You are pen pals with at least one cruise ship staff member

You are truly a cruise addict if you keep in touch with staff members from past sailings. We love hearing from our favorite crew members and stamp-budget increases with each cruise. Bonus points if you know their kids’ names.

Cruise Addicts - Test 3

You follow your favorite Cruise Director on Facebook

When you open your FB feed, is it filled with the latest cruise ship news or excursion recommendations? That’s a good sign that you’re a cruise addict. Our day doesn’t really get started until we check our favorite FB cruise page. [LINK]

Cruise Addicts - Test 4

You actually understand the difference between “port” and “starboard”

During your next muster drill, look around… 95% of cruise passengers will be looking at their key cards, then at the walls, then at their key cards, then towards the closest cruise ship employee. The cruise addicts, however, need no assistance. They’ve been port-side (with a full drink) for the past 10 minutes.

Cruise Addicts - Test 5

Your Christmas and birthday lists match this Cruise Essentials guild

“All I want for Christmas is my travel tote, my cruise lanyards, and my packing cubes.” Make a list and check it twice. If it looks like this Cruise Essentials guide, then you may have a problem.

Cruise Addicts - Test 6

You have more than one cruise app on your phone

There are multiple levels to your cruise craziness when it comes to mobile apps. The relatively sane have a couple cruise apps like their favorite cruise line or Cruise Deals App. The cruise addicts, however, have pushed Uber, Postmates and Candy Cruise to screen 2 to avoid distraction from their main screen cruise apps.

Cruise Addicts - Test 7

You know the difference between Eastern and Western Caribbean

The normal human has no idea which Caribbean islands fall within the “Eastern” or “Western” portion. There are more than 7,000 islands in that beautiful, cruise-soup. One of the biggest signs you are a cruise addict… you can tell me which of those 7,000 islands I can port in the Western Caribbean.

Cruise Addicts - Test 8

You see the potential in every bath towel at home

Another sign that you’ve been corrupted is as follows. You walk by a towel crumpled on the floor and think, “what a shame.” You might even tear up a bit. That poor, pile of linen could have been something much greater in life. Like a hanging monkey.

Cruise Addicts - Test 9

You wear one of these shirts more often than socially appropriate

Do one or more of your shirts have to do with cruising? Do you shop exclusively from this year’s collection of Best Cruise Shirts. You may refer to it as “cruise chic” while your wife is plotting to bury them in the back yard.

Cruise Addicts - Test 10

You have more cruise price alerts set than birthday reminders

If you’re like us, you might not be the most organized person when it comes to birthdays, anniversaries, or bill payments. While this could be resolved with calendar alerts, you’ve already expended your scheduling efforts setting cruise price alerts. Rather than getting a push notification for “mortgage overdue,” you’d prefer “Your cruise price dropped to $649!”

Cruise Addicts - Test 11

You get annoyed when you see prices on a dinner menu

One of the ultimate signs that you’re a cruise addict is that you order from the restaurant menu without considering price. Cruises will train you to order with your stomach rather than your wallet. Price be damned. Actually, price be absent. This is a dangerous habit when returning to the real world.

Cruise Addicts - Test 12

You dreamt you were on a cruise at least once last week

Once cruise ships start invading your dreams, you might be an addict. When the lights go out and you go to your happy place, this is a tell tale sign. Welcome to the club.

Cruise Addicts - Test 13

You have a cruise bag and know exactly where to find it

If you have a specialized collection of cruising gear, you might be a cruise addict. When we get home from our sailing, that bag of lanyards, cruise cabin night lights, luggage tags, etc has a specific corner of our garage where it lives to see another day. Hopefully soon.

Cruise Addicts - Test 14

You print and strategically place your boarding passes like badges of honor

When not on a cruise, the only solace is knowing you have a future sailing booked. As a reminder, cruise addicts will place boarding passes in the bathroom, on the refrigerator, in their office, and bed-side table. That’s why services like this exist to buy and print cruise boarding passes.

Cruise Addicts - Test 15

You’ll watch a terrible movie like “Out to Sea” because it takes place on a cruise ship

No offense to Walter Matthew, but “Out to Sea” ain’t winning an Oscar soon. The only thing it’s winning is a spot on our “recently viewed” list in Netflix. And the only reason it pops up there more often than we’re proud of, is because it takes place on a cruise ship. Addicted? Check.

Cruise Addicts - Test 16

You always look for cruise ships when nearby a coastline

Oh, and your home just happens to be within 10 miles of one of the countries major Cruise Departure Ports.
“I think that’s a Royal Caribbean ship out there, honey. It looks like it might be the Allure!?” To which she responds, “umm… I’m pretty sure that’s a shrimp boat.”

Cruise Addicts - Test 17

You roll your eyes at cruise line threats when booking shore tours with a reputable company

Having booked over 10,000 excursions with our partners and without a single passenger missing his/her ship, we at Gangwaze know cruise line threats are a crock of ship. True cruise addicts don’t fall for these bullying tactics.

Cruise Addicts - Test 18

You always choose the earliest boarding time to capture every possible cruising minute

Do you want to be the first on the ship? Probably because, like us, you’re a cruise addict. Hey, we paid the same amount whether boarding at 9AM or 3PM. I’ma enjoy those extra six hours.

Cruise Addicts - Test 19

You have a special highlighter for your daily cruise planner

Cruise Geek Level 8 – getting excited when hearing that daily planner slide under your door. Bump that up to a 10 if you have a dedicated highlighter set aside for just this purpose. That first slide across “7am Zumba – Aft Lounge” feels so right.

Cruise Addicts - Test 20

You stopped needing deck maps multiple cruises ago

You’ve committed those PDF’s to memory. You move around the ship like Julianne Hough on stage (and in our dreams). If the cruise line somehow lost every deck map they’ve ever owned, you could commission a sketch artist to re-create them from scratch.

Cruise Addicts - Test 21

Rather than adding guacamole, you add $1.50 to your cruise fund

Every dollar spent on non-cruise-related items causes a grimace. Do you really need two ply? Maybe your barista skips the whip cream today. What does IRA even stand for? If you’ve had these thoughts, you might be a cruise addict.

Cruise Addicts - Test 22

You have a special room in your house lined with these stickers where you go to pretend

We have a room of the house we call “Envision of the Seas.” A sound machine mimics the crashing waves and we don’t step foot in there without a Pina Colada. These porthole stickers line the walls. Could this be a sign of a cruise addict? We’ll let you decide.

Cruise Addicts - Test 23

You vigorously defend your favorite cruise line on social media

Have you lost sleep in a facebook flame-war regarding chair hogs? If so, you might be a cruise addict. If you’ve spent time digitally defending your cruise line’s honor against the evil cruise critic trolls out there, you know what we’re talking about. Your cruise line is proud and the Internet thanks you.

If you found this post entertaining, funny, or even helpful, please use the share buttons below to help your fellow cruise addicts assess their level of addiction. It takes a village, people.