Below you'll find 24 Signs that you are a cruise addict. We've seen addicts across the spectrum. From those that lose some sleep without a cruise booked, to Katie Holmes. Did you know that she married Tom solely for his last name?
Forget the "12 steps." We want you to embrace your self-diagnosed cruise addiction. To test just how far out to sea you are, look at the signs below. These are the tell-tale symptoms determined from years of field studies.
Use the pinterest button above to save this to post to your cruise preparation board. Check back frequently as symptoms progress.
Feel free to keep score as you scroll through the list. If so, please let us know how many boxes you check.
23 Signs that you are a Cruise Addict
Your wallet has a photo of your favorite cruise ship but not your grandchild
Your wallet has limited space. We all have cash, cards, and Chick Fil A coupons. What fills that small void is very telling. We proudly display a photo of our youngest cruise ship. She was launched in 2008 and we visit her as often as we can.
You are pen pals with at least one cruise ship staff member
You are truly a cruise addict if you keep in touch with staff members from past sailings. We love hearing from our favorite crew members. Our stamp-budget increases with each cruise. You get bonus points if you know the cruise staff kids’ names.
You follow your favorite Cruise Director on Facebook
When you open your FB feed, is it filled with the latest cruise ship news or excursion recommendations? That’s a good sign that you’re a cruise addict. Our day doesn’t really get started until we check our favorite FB cruise page.
You actually understand the difference between “port” and “starboard”
Look around during your next muster drill. You'll notice that 95% of cruise passengers will be looking at their key cards, then at the walls, then at their key cards, then towards the closest cruise ship employee. Not us cruise addicts. We need no assitance. We've been port-side (with a full drink) for the past 10 minutes.
Your Christmas and birthday lists match this Cruise Essentials guild
“All I want for Christmas is my travel tote. And some packing cubes. And new cruise lanyards.” Make a list and check it twice. If it looks like this Cruise Essentials Packng List, then you may be a cruise addict.
You have more than one cruise app on your phone
There are multiple levels to your cruise craziness when it comes to mobile apps. The relatively sane have a couple cruise apps. They likely own the app for their favorite crusie line. And they'll occasionally check their favorite Cruise Deals App. The real cruise addicts have pushed Uber, Postmates and Candy Cruise to screen 2 to avoid distraction from their main screen cruise apps.
You know the difference between Eastern and Western Caribbean
The normal human has no idea which Caribbean islands fall within the “Eastern” or “Western” portion. There are more than 7,000 islands in that beautiful, cruise-soup. One of the biggest signs you are a cruise addict… you can tell me which of those 7,000 islands I can port in the Western Caribbean.
You see the potential in every bath towel at home
Another sign that you’ve been corrupted is as follows. You walk by a towel crumpled on the floor and think, “what a shame.” You might even tear up a bit. That poor pile of linen could have been something much greater in life. Like a hanging monkey.
You wear one of these shirts more often than socially appropriate
Do one or more of your shirts have to do with cruising? Do you shop exclusively from this year’s collection of Best Cruise Shirts. You may refer to it as “cruise chic” while your wife is plotting to bury them in the back yard.
You have more cruise price alerts set than birthday reminders
If you’re like us, you might not be the most organized person when it comes to birthdays, anniversaries, or bill payments. While this could be resolved with calendar alerts, you’ve already expended your scheduling efforts setting cruise price alerts. Rather than getting a push notification for “mortgage overdue,” you’d prefer “cruise price drop of $649!”
You get annoyed when you see prices on a dinner menu
One of the ultimate signs that you’re a cruise addict is that you order from the restaurant menu without considering price. Cruises will train you to order with your stomach rather than your wallet. Price be damned. Actually, price be absent. This is a dangerous habit when returning to the real world.
You dreamt you were on a cruise at least once last week
Once cruise ships start invading your dreams, you might be an addict. When the lights go out we go to your happy place. This is a tell tale sign. Do you dream about cruises? Welcome to the club.
You have a cruise bag and know exactly where to find it
If you have a specialized collection of cruising gear, you might be a cruise addict. When we get home from our sailing, that bag of lanyards, cruise cabin night lights, luggage tags, etc all have a specific corner of our garage. It livers there until it's next journey. Hopefully soon.
You print and strategically place your boarding passes like badges of honor
When not on a cruise, the only solace is knowing you have a future sailing booked. As a reminder, cruise addicts will place boarding passes in the bathroom, on the refrigerator, in their office, and bed-side table. That’s why we've created a free printable cruise boarding pass. You can now hang these up all over your house as a reminder of your future cruises.
You’ll watch a terrible movie like “Out to Sea” because it takes place on a cruise ship
No offense to Walter Matthew, but “Out to Sea” ain’t winning an Oscar soon. The only thing it’s winning is a spot on our “recently viewed” list on Netflix. We're not proud to have watched it six times. But, it has a cruise ship. And that makes us happy. Do movies with cruise ships make you happy?
You always look for cruise ships when nearby a coastline
Does your home happen to be within 10 miles of one of one of the country's Cruise Departure Ports. “I think that’s a Royal Caribbean ship out there, honey. It looks like it might be the Allure!?” To which she responds, “umm… I’m pretty sure that’s a shrimp boat.”
You roll your eyes at cruise line threats when booking shore tours with a reputable company
"If you don't book a cruise excursion with the cruise line, then you'll miss your ship!" Have you fallen for that? You're not alone. We believed that back in our rookie-cruising days. No mas. Gangwaze tour partners have booked over 10,000 excursions without a single passenger missing her ship. As a cruise pro (and addict), we know that cruise line threat is a crock of ship. True cruise addicts don’t fall for those bullying tactics.
You always choose the earliest boarding time to capture every possible cruising minute
Do you want to be the first on the ship? Check. We pay the same amount whether boarding at 9AM or 3PM. I’ma enjoy those extra six hours. You can bet that we'll also be one of the last getting off at the end of our cruise!
You have a special highlighter for your daily cruise planner
Cruise Geek Level 8... getting excited when hearing that daily planner slide under your door. Bump that up to a 10 if you have a dedicated highlighter ready. It feels so right sliding that flourescent yellow marker over that “7am Zumba” item.
You stopped needing deck maps multiple cruises ago
You’ve committed those PDF’s to memory. You move around the ship like Julianne Hough on stage (and in our dreams). If the cruise line somehow lost every deck map they’ve ever owned, you could commission a sketch artist to re-create them from scratch. Oh and that hidden deck. You're the one that found it.
Rather than adding guacamole, you add $1.50 to your cruise fund
Every dollar spent on non-cruise-related items causes a grimace. Do you really need two ply? Maybe your barista skips the whip cream today. What does IRA even stand for? If you’ve had these thoughts, you might be a cruise addict.
You have a special room in your house lined with these stickers where you go to pretend
We have a room of the house we call “Envision of the Seas.” A sound machine mimics the crashing waves and we don’t step foot in there without a Pina Colada. These porthole stickers line the walls. Could this be a sign of a cruise addict? We’ll let you decide.
You vigorously defend your favorite cruise line on social media
Have you lost sleep in a facebook flame-war regarding chair hogs? If so, you might be a cruise addict. If you’ve spent time digitally defending your cruise line’s honor against the evil cruise critic trolls out there, you know what we’re talking about. Your cruise line is proud and the Internet thanks you.
If you found this post entertaining, funny, or even helpful, please use the share buttons below to help your fellow cruise addicts assess their level of addiction. It takes a village, people.